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Writer's pictureNAEL L.

Protect yourself from disappointments?



HARD TO ESCAPE DISAPPOINTMENTS

Because disappointments, we have all experienced them. We dreamed of princes and princesses who, when they took shape, fell far short of their promises. We believed beautiful words that were just wind, we fantasized about adventures that never materialized. We met the father of our future children, the perfect wife, we committed forever and ever, only to part ways some time later. So many failures that have taught us to be careful...


THE END OF THE PRINCE CHARMING MYTH

These are, each time, hopes that have collapsed. A future which, when it became present, did not live up to our expectations. And that is what we would now like to protect ourselves from: from these expectations, from these stories that we have told ourselves and which have made us miss reality. Who, when she imposed herself, really knocked us out... We no longer want to believe in the exceptional man with the different woman, and sooner or later find ourselves face to face with someone "like the others", and his lot of flaws.


HOW TO PREVENT DREAMING?

The ideal would be to expect nothing more from these encounters. Wherever they go. Because the great people, and made for us, that a well-meaning friend introduced us to, have sometimes disappointed us a lot. The ideal would be to go towards the other without imagining anything, without hoping for anything, without wondering if it will work. But that's easier said than done. And that when faced with this person we have just met, either our hearts race, imagining the beautiful love that awaits us, or depression overwhelms us.


RELATIVIZE THE CHALLENGES OF DATING

Since it is almost impossible to live without hope, put the stakes of this first meeting into perspective, which we have already transformed into an exam on which our future would depend. Because it is obviously not a baccalaureate that we pass. It is only a ferry that transports us from one bank to the other, from our imagination to the reality of the other, with which we will come to terms. To which we are not alienated. There is nothing to "succeed", there is no proof to do, but a desire to love to assume, and that this other shares with us.


SMILE TO PROTECT YOURSELF

To protect yourself from disappointment is first and foremost to guard against any dramatization, from being too serious. Of course we want to meet someone and quickly, and to be happy together. But we know at the same time how the alchemy of love is complex and mysterious, how it requires flexibility and availability. What laughter guarantees us... So let's smile at our stress, at the films we make for ourselves, at the "plans" that we build. And let's enjoy the moment. Others, which ones?, will follow…

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